Learning life-skills
In highschool, as part of our “life-skills” education, my cohorts and I received education in various subjects as a way to introduce us to various skills that would/could be useful to us as adults. They included woodworking, metalwork, drafting, art, drama, cooking and sewing. And at one point in time, knitting was thrown into the mix as well. This was all in grade 8, our first year of highschool and too early in our lives, I think, to be considering that basic sewing or woodworking skills would be useful as an adult. (I would also like to point out that many of my cohorts’ parents completed the sewing projects – I would like to add that I did my own sewing project and got a C- as a result of not completing my final sewing project).
Beyond grade 8, we were given many options for our elective courses, including auto-shop, and data management. Yes, data management. This was in the 90s when computer skills were not mandatory, and html was considered cutting edge. Google did not exist, Yahoo was a leading search engine, and console gaming was a trend.
Foods & Nutrition and Data Management were the “life skills” courses I chose to continue with, and they have so far proven to be very useful. I don’t find myself as “fearful” of new technology, though I am often resistant to change. My basic html knowledge and understanding of the internet has proven to be useful at work. I also enjoy cooking and pride myself on being able to cook a tasty and healthy meal (although some don’t think it’s tasty without the extra unneeded salt and oil). This has proven very useful with the various food allergies that I need to work around (wheat, dairy and egg).
But I am still lacking many skills to be as product-full as I would like. My sewing skills are very weak – I cannot even hem my own pants – at least not straight; I do not know how to knit except for the standard perl and knit (and I have no idea how to make an extra row or even how to end the knitting project!); I enjoy gardening (I call myself a tinkerer in this area) but do not know anything about ph of soil or even what “zone” I live in; and even though I know how to use the standard house-hold tools, I cannot hang a picture straight. Over-all, these are all tangible skills that I can still learn. There are courses and workshops available. There are experts on these subjects / areas of knowledge.
The act of hosting
But what about the art of being a good host? Etiquette is a subject that is not taught at all in school. Few courses are available on this subject, if at all. What I have learned about being a good host is through television, through Martha Stewart, through The Learning Channel, through Food Network Canada, and through event planning experience at work. But what does being a good host mean? In short, it means entertaining your guests. It means ensuring all the party prep is done before the guests arrive so you can spend time with your guests. It means having good food and entertainment, and it means engaging your guests when they arrive. Am I a good host? I believe I am a decent host but there is always room for improvement and I learn something with each event that I host.
This past weekend, my husband and I hosted a birthday bash for my 2 year old boy. I won’t go into details of the party but the main thing I learned is my husband has no idea what being a good host means. For his part though, he hasn’t had a lot of experience in this area. He does not manage meetings or organize events in his line of work. I believe our wedding was the first event he had to think about managing, and I`m not even sure how much thought he gave that!
For the birthday party itself, he didn’t give too much thought into the planning or logistics of it, except for what day and time to host it, and except for wondering if we would have enough food. The entertainment and activities for the kids, the menu planning was all me. So when he said at the end of the party “I don’t think we were very good hosts” was surprising to me. I didn’t even think he thought about that at all, but that statement alone showed me that he did think about it, and was perhaps concerned about it.
But were we good hosts? I think we were ok. Yes, there were areas for improvement. I am not a social butterfly and am an innately shy person. Opening up one’s house does take work, and planning an event, big or small, does take time and thought. I am glad though, that my husband actually was thinking about what it takes to be a good host. Next time we will probably be better hosts, but maybe not.
His comment about being a good host though, was a big surprise to me at the end of the night. I don’t think he actually worried about things like that, but I guess everyone worries about this when they plan an event, or welcomes people into their own homes – which brings me back to the subject of education. Hosting is a life-skill. Hosting is not a tangible life-skill, but it is a life-skill nonetheless. Is it something that needs to be taught in school? I don’t think it deserves a full course, but I think event planning needs to be experienced in school.
For my “hosting” education, the majority of my career has involved event planning – Board meetings, and community events – I have been involved in many aspects including sending out invitations to organizing logistics. But each event IS different, with different requirements, different expectations and different people. A business meeting, though, is different from a social event, and is different from a media event, and is different from a community event; but the basics are generally the same and the goal is basically the same. Identify the objective, and ensure the objective is met. In the case of a birthday party, the objective is to ensure everyone is entertained and involved. I certainly hope the objective was met this weekend. At least I know everyone enjoyed the food!
I do need to remember to introduce everyone though. Unfortunately, that was something I forgot to do. I definitely need to remember to do that next time. As I mentioned before, hosting is a life-skill that I am still learning. One-day it will be perfected. Let’s just hope it’s not when I am old and gray. I do want to be able to teach my children how to be good hosts! Afterall, being a good host is mostly about good manners!